Ahem. So it's been a while. And I shall speak to that absence and its underlying excuses (generally unpleasant particulars, yadda) at some point. But for now, let us let bygones be bygones and focus on cookies, shall we?

There's this guy, Paul, who is not only handsome and hilarious with great taste in left-hand jewelry (insert *bling* sound effect here,) but also an incredibly hardworking part of the family funeral business. After an especially trying string of long days and interrupted nights, this dude deserved some damn cookies in his life. Enter your lovely and currently unemployed narrator.

Peanut Butter Cookies with Reese's Chunks Like Woah
(Recipe modified from Amy Sedaris' fantabulous I Like You)

Acquire:
1 stick unsalted butter
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
3/4 cup peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 cups flour
~A lot of Reese's cups (squatty, not the flat sort)

Get the oven cranked to 350. Add the moist stuff together, beating the egg into melty butter. Add the dry stuff to that...or whatever - don't be fussy, just get it cookie doughy. Unwrap and chop up a seemingly excessive amount of Reese's cups; sprinkle into dough and mix well together.

Grease up your cookie sheets with shortening and spoon what you think is a decent amount of cookie into their respective cookie spaces. (You might have to wrangle them into themselves a bit, but don't bother worrying about too much spreading room.) I personally can't call a peanut butter cookie without fork marks on top oven-ready, but you won't be graded on that part.

Check them at about 11 minutes, and probably put them back in for another four or five, depending upon the brownness of the edges and firmness. (Do I really need to tell you these things, guys? Feedback welcomed.)

Upon delivery, Paul came up for air to moan a very appreciative thank you after four or five disappeared down the gullet, so I'm tallying Operation Delicious Stress Relief as a success. While your sweethearts likely don't deal with the deceased and their bereaved on a daily basis, it can't hurt for you to also show some love by whipping up a batch. Well, unless they're allergic to peanuts. Or eggs. Or are obese. Or diabetic.